i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
