peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
