I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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