I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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