One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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