I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
