I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
