He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize