dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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