She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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