weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
