I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
