I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
