She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize