This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize