So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
