I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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