Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
