There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This baby is an asshole
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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