I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
