Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
