he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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