East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
