I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
