Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize