The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
