Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
