if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
