Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
