sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
