i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
PS: I just woke up from my shower
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
