normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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