Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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