Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
