he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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