butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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