i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just want to make out with him forever
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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