I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
