No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
