You can't special order awesome
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
