i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
