that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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