I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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