Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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