just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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