Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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