apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
