You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
