just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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