YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I smell stomach acid.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize