This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
