Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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