i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
