batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
