But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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