I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
