I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
