I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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