ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize