I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
