she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
