Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
