My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize