I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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