I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
are you so shy because you have an std?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
