I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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