I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
