Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
